... i am up to no good! oh fuck. what i meant to say is: i solemnly swear to update, up in this bitch, more! i must admit- i have somewhat of a knack for writing. i always have. i used to win creative writing contests when i was a wee young lass. now that i'm a grown up cunt- i feel there is more need to display my cunning linguist [har har] ways. it's one thing i know i am decent at. i don't want to take it for granted.
that being said, i would like to set forth some expectations:
1. i hate capitalization. loathe would be a better word. i'm all e.e. cummings about lowercasing. i will, however, entertain you with caps if i feel it is merited! i can also dazzle with italics and bold! :D so, if you're going to be a whiny ass bitch about it- seek petty ass needling, elsewhere. i promise you, i will make up for it with nice meaty, girthy... content. ha. pervs.
2. i am NOT the best at grammar, nor am i the best speller in the world. i will try to edit best i can- but let's not judge over something so utterly [in my mind] mundane. i have, for you're pretentious grammar nazi ways, tackled comma's lately. altho i may just get annoyed with them and give them the boot. stay tuned for that excitement!
3. try not to get offended- or try not to have a guilty conscience. i have an extremely big opinion and and even bigger mouf. i will spit fire if you piss me off- please believe! but i willn't name names. if you cannot handle and intelligent conversation/debate/bitch fest- refrain from reading this. because- i can almost guarantee i will piss you off. you have been warned! i don't want to read your tweets, all crying about shit later. i'm serious. buck up bitches!
4. i appreciate and welcome feedback and criticism. i like to think i have relatively thick skin. however, i do NOT welcome rude, un-warranted rhetoric. save it, kids.
5. i am vulgar. i will address controversial issues. again. if you want a PG 13 blog- this ain't the one! perhaps you would feel more comfortable with a less abrasive writer.
6. i make up words and i combine terms to make words and descriptions. i also like fragments, one word sentences and shortening words. fuck long walks on the beach and cuddling. deal with it.
okay... i think that is a good solid foundation. anyway, i need to get to the gym to work off this fatty pizza i just ate. FML. peace!
x.
aa
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