playing it safe? why don't you go play in traffic. bitches.

why are people overly critical and why do they hold you to impossible standards that they can't even uphold? it's like some sick and twisted charade of torture. i don't get it and i don't think its fair. to make demands when your own life is derailing- what is that all about? it's so funny people try to cut me down and make assumptions about me but no one really knows how hard it has been. i don't have to even explain it- my struggle is evident in everything i do. i would like to see anyone pick themselves up and move across country and start over. alone- with $700 and a car i later totaled. kneegrow, please! they would fail and i would laugh hysterically. i didn't fail. remember that as you spew out loose accusations that reflect jealousy. why don't you stop worrying about me and picking me apart and focus on yourself? stop wasting time on me- i'll be fine. you on the other hand... hmmm...

i hate people play it safe. making all the right, overly calculated decisions that their parents or family has laid out for them. fucking barf! take your suzy homemaker, white picket fence, stenciled life and fuck off! it's that kind of mentality that embraces normality and what is considered "acceptable." says who? you have to take a risk to make a difference in your life! people are such pansies sometimes. it makes me sick. like grow a pair dip shit. then they criticize you because you have the balls to do something good for yourself and make a brash move. when they wouldn't have the nerve. it just makes me laugh anymore! don't fucking come to me and tell me dick about this or that, when you surround yourself with comfort zones. what the fuck do you know? you're afraid to even get your toes wet. i jumped in- all the way in. sink or swim. do or do not- there is no try.

so pardon me if i am a bit defensive and a bit rough around the edges. i really can't take you seriously if you have had a cake walk life and yet think your life is so horrible. some of the shit you whine about- i would love to have as a problem. don't take things for granted! don't blow shit out of proportion. somethings are virtue in disguise. you just have to see it the right way. loss creates gain. expand your frame of thought. most of the shit people bitch about is self inflicted. and that only makes you a masochist which is a very disturbing and disgusting way to self destruct. get real.

i have a lot of respect for people who can take ownership to the things they do. it takes a big person to admit when they are wrong and swallow their pride. because- everyone is human. everyone makes mistakes. it's what you do with it that counts. you can lick your own wounds all you want but that's going to get you nowhere- except choking on your own blood. do something with it. there is nothing wrong with fucking up if you grow and learn. trust me- i'm the expert.

x.
aa


*random fact about me: i have really bad circulation. my nose, hands and toes are always cold. as we speak- i cant feel my toes. fuck!