all in the game.

some people long for complacency. they thrive on routines and redundancy. that gives them a sense of being grounded. it becomes their reality. it becomes their ball and chain. but is it what nourishes us that also does destroy us? are the chains that bind us to our lives and the foundations we build them upon really a comfort? or are we slaves to it, laced in so deep that we cannot see the imprisonment? i don't know. but what i can tell you is i feel free. i feel like i can go anywhere and do anything now without anything holding me back. without anything keeping me here. the only thing that has kept me in vegas for almost 3 years now is the desire to start over. the desire to start a new life from scratch. and i did just that. i carved a niche here. i did it on my own. no one helped me but i never wanted admiration. i did it for my own personal gain, to test my strength. i had to do it for myself and i had to do it by myself. i think it was the most valuable lesson i have ever learned my whole life. i found comfort in that. but now i feel like it's time for another change. so many people i know cling to things that i feel they don't need to- myself included. they cling to their underpaid positions because they are scared to look for something better. they cling to their significant other because they feel that is the best they can do. they settle. they stay where their family is, not knowing that your family will love you no matter where you are on the planet- and they will always be there for you too. mine does and mine always will regardless where the road takes me. that- in essence is what family is. family understands. and maybe i clung to the comfort zones i made for myself here. maybe i enjoyed being structured and scheduled. but in some ways i feel like this happened for a reason. just like the last time i left- my home of kentucky. i looked at the path before me and all the steps leading up to it and i knew i had to go- no matter where the road took me. luckily for me- it was the best decision i ever made. will i be so lucky again? who knows. all i know is i need to go- i need to be free while i still can. i do not have anything keeping me here. there is still so much i haven't seen in the world that i feel i am missing out on. i don't want to live in die in the same place- or even the same 2 places. to me- that isn't living. i'm a free spirit. if anyone can say anything about me- it is just that. i don't know what is going to happen but where ever i go, there are a few of you i will always keep close to my heart. there are those of you who have changed me forever. some for good and some for bad. i can only hope that some part of my life has touched or changed you as well. and i know that we can always learn and progress from each other- no amount of time or distance can change that. i will always love vegas and what i learned about myself and life here. but i think it's time to move on...

"mention this to me- mention something mention anything... mention this to me- watch the weather change..."