adapt or die.

it's been about a month since i have written and let me just say that it's been one of the most life changing months i've ever been through. i cannot get into too much detail, as it regards a very personal matter. just know that even in my darkest hour- i find hope. it feels so enriching to do that. had you known me years ago- you would have never suspected that. i am very proud of myself for being so optimistic. even though i feel as if i have lost part of myself, i also feel like i have gained perhaps even more than i lost. and for that i can have no regrets.

it's peculiar how one thing can change your life almost completely. but i guess that is what life is about. i just find it intriguing that every time i start to take things for granted life comes around to give me a good, firm kick in the ass. it's a necessity. there are so many things i have planned that i am getting excited about. first of all i plan to spend halloween in new orleans for the voodoo fest. i have always wanted to go and this seems like the perfect time to go! after that, i plan on taking a road trip across country to visit friends and family. i will be stopping in las havasu arizona, albuquerque, austin, new orleans, atlanta and nashville. i may try to go to florida also since i have never been. then to kentucky to spend the holidays with my family. i havent seen them since christmas 2007 so i am excited for that! i miss them. they are my heart, collectively. after that i plan on taking a west coast trip starting from san diego and driving up to seattle, stopping at san fran and portland along the way. after that i want to go to europe for a bit. i really need to travel over seas. i havent even been to mexico or canada! then i am thinking about relocating permanently to portland or austin. it's all up in the air. there are a few reasons i would like to stay in vegas so i'll have to give it some serious thought.

actually- vegas has been rather kind to me as of late. i have found much comfort and support in the friends i have here and it really makes me feel loved. i have been having a lot of fun since i have been unemployed so thats a plus. i feel like i forgot how to have fun when i was working so much! it's a new found love.

i'm just very humbled and thankful for my life right now. i feel like i am seeing things for the first time and in a new light. thank you to all whom have helped me through. it does not go un-noticed!