i wrote this 4 years ago

june 6th, 2005

little present, wrapped up with potential.
smiles come frequently now and soil the dark.
how ravishing, how unexpected.
her spark of relentless has ignited.
stops you
shocks you

silly boys that wanted to know.
yearned for a chance.
but she ran and ran.
forward from the unknown
didn't want to be miscontrued
or used
or sold short

before- she was the mistress of the helpless.
represented well.
all wrapped up in worries.
but fallen from the throne of the dead.
still mindful of her pain.
she chose to be alive
no more loss- only gain
eyes and tears and blood
only kept for one
a savage force that she had lost along the way.
sad she was. lonely she felt.
she only wanted to disintegrate together.
and melt into eyes of tomorrow
die by his side
forget the sins
that had washed her beauty out.
so ugly before.
he built her up enough to restore.
made her new,but so weak inside
un came the glue.
of perhaps and maybe it was too soon

tumbling down into rut of "not good enough"
she peeled off her intentions.
she was naked in thought and felt so small.
but thought she did and scared she crawled.
no time for admirers, she blew them off.
like the dust of a heart shelved
so very long ago

but they were attracted to her mystery.
to her independence.
her knowing pain.
she wore it well
it spoke their name
her comforting presence
that unfolded so many secrets from others.
a trusted diary many consoled,
and she healed them.
she helped them.
but she could not help herself
and so she inverted and distanced her wealth

just now- coming out of her shell
just now- knowing what she lost
just now- knowing what she needed
just now- feeling that she was worth something

and that someone would feel it a prize and latch on tight,
hold her hand. feel her might.
passioned souls fall hard yet comes from below.
shows you just what she is made of
becomes the one you've always dreamed of
you bite your lip and feel shamed for underestimating
what she can do

with this pain....

thunder crashes when she opens her eyes and as she wipes a tear,
with blood on fire- she has survived.

stregnth
immortal
forever.