post birthday angst

when the fruits of your labor are dethroned
are you mutated?
do you desecrate yourself
when you give too much?
i find myself
girding the ability to be benevolent
to be selfless
because its always thrown
right back in my face
like some recycled filth
that stains my mind with the dark
ugly intentions you wear so proudly
are we really that selfish?
just a disgraceful waste
so disenchanting
disgusting
i should know better
then to put my neck on a platter
for those that can not give me any
ounce of their time
and yet i'm still right here
giving blood
this vampire romance
is stale
its only leaves you sucked dry
without enough strength to try
no escaping this perpetual doom
can we progress beyond
excuses and lies
the integrity of respect
is golden and cannot break easily
but the more i try to be a good person
the more you make a fool out of me

jaded and bitter know no other vessel quite as fitting