i've been trying to reinvent myself lately. it's tricky when you do this because you have to choose which parts of yourself to hold on to and which parts to let go of completely. sometimes you come to find you must let go of everything. as hard as it can be, sometimes it is necessity. when you wake up one day and find your whole life has changed, it's a hard thing to swallow. this has happened to me in the past few months. everything has changed. my priorities have shifted. i've had to reevaluate everything and as heartbreaking as it has been, i feel inspired. i feel refreshed and enlightened. it's sad that we sometimes get so caught up in things that we cannot see the unhealthy death grip we have on them is the very thing that drives them away. separation is one of the greatest teachers. loss and desolation all put things into perspective and shed light on things we may not notice any other way.

what i have learned is that other people and things never define who you are. you define yourself. you cannot invest everything you have into someone or something, then you cheapen yourself fully. there are no sure bets. there is always a risk. you can allow it to drag you down or lift you up. you will never find things if you look for them. things that are meant to happen will naturally. let things be. let things go. peel away all the masks off and you will find your true self. simplicity and subtleties have all gone by the wayside. our neurosis have drained all of our energy. obsessing over things and trying to control and manipulate situations and people are all pointless really. you cannot change others unless they desire to change. you cannot heal others unless they have the desire to heal. its natural for me to desire to fix others but the sad reality is i just can't. i can inspire, i can aid and i can comfort but in the end. they have to want to change. if they don't, you're just pissing in the wind. personal accountability is a difficult road to travel but it's one we all must travel alone.

you cannot lessen yourself when things don't go as you want. that's life. you must embrace great loss. it can show you things you never thought possible. to endure builds character. it toughens you. it opens you up. true strength is obtained by your ability to adapt. it's easy to doubt yourself and cut yourself down because people disapprove of you. should we let this take away from our own personal beauty? never. everything you are is not cast away because of someone else. if someone cannot see you for who you are and cannot value you- you don't need them. you have to forgive yourself. sometimes you give your best effort and it's just not enough for someone else, it's disenchanting but you cannot lose yourself at the hand of someone else. it's never worth it. see it for what it is, let it humble you and let it go. lift yourself up and be whole by yourself.