fairytales tell tales.

if you have no passion in life then what's the point? i get so angry at people that put everything into the innocuous. they wax frivolous. i don't need your sanctimony especially if you're just a worthless cunt. i have met so many in this town, in this country, on this planet. i guess i just don't get it. i wish i knew how to be a girl because at this point- i kind of don't have the faintest idea. i have come to terms with the fact that i will always be one of the dudes. i hate how most girls eat up attention. i hate it. i don't like when people hit on me. it makes me uncomfortable. i don't know how to take a compliment. i don't really get jealous, although sometime i wish i could. if i ever get married [which i highly doubt] i don't want a ring or a wedding. that shit doesn't matter to me. it takes away from what it should be. i want to light fairy tales on fire to disintegrate what they do to our heads. that kind of shit doesn't exist, nor should it. it only makes me sick.

i know i'm far beyond jaded. i'm trying to allow that to teach me so i can gain something positive from it. i don't know if i have made any progress at all. everything in my life is at a constant inconsistency at times and i wonder if it's good or bad. i guess it's a dichotomy that is the essence of my life. i feel like no one knows what it means to be loyal and sincere. we are all lost in the shuffle. i expect far too much from everyone and therefore i am always let down. i don't feel i should have to lower those expectations down to be more satisfied. fuck that! but, i guess i forget we are all human and we all get weak. i am no different. i fuck up. the only difference is i pride myself on owning up to my shortcomings. it makes me humble.

i wish more people had something real to say. i know not everyone has a way with words and some find it hard to convey how they feel. i still think that people hold so much back. i know i do. i'm going to try to work on that. life is too short. if anything, i want to be known for my exuberance. i'm vulgar as fuck. i don't tolerate anyones bullshit. i don't have time for cowards or manipulators. i want something real.